Hopes and Fears

The Chinese government is committed to eradicating all Chinglish – the strange English translations of Chinese words - before the Olympics. There are actual teams who do nothing but scour the city and look for incorrect words. They contact the owners of the shop and offer to repaint or reprint the wording in correct English. It’s kind of sad that it’s disappearing. Of course it’s only happening in Beijing; the hinterlands will have it for years to come. Here are some of the recent ones that have disappeared:

“Fried crap!” – item on restaurant menu
“Oil gate” – gas station
“To take notice of safe: Slippery are very crafty” – slippery when wet
“It is small to fry the chicken miscellaneous” – item on a restaurant menu
“Mixed elbow with garlic mud” – item on a restaurant menu
“Myriad stretch golf, ethereally luxury home”– real estate advertisement
“Acid food” – item on restaurant menu
“Hospital for Anus and Intestine Disease” – now the "Dongda Hospital for Proctology”
“Ideas powder” – Italian spaghetti
“Fry the dark winter in the sun's way” - A thick wheat-based noodle in Japanese cuisine
“Please lead your child to tare the life”– Warning sign in elevator
“Danger! Inhibition astraddle transgress” – Do Not Enter
“Bake the cell phone” - Hand dryer.
“Harsh browns” – hash browns
“To run business” - Open
“Drink tea” - Closed
“Deformed Men” – sign on handicapped bathroom stalls
“Question authority” - Help desk.
“Big Bowl Fresh Immerse Miscellaneous Germ” – item on restaurant menu
“No entry in peacetime” - Emergency exit.
“Cow bowel in sauce” – item on restaurant menu
“Escape urban and enjoy looking at in Provence good time bandits” – tourism billboard
“Terrorized US Pork Steak” – item on restaurant menu
“Pleasanty surprise of groping” – on a fashion billboard

My black suits now have white spots on them. Some of my coworkers come up and try dusting me off, only to realize it’s more of a stain. I think it’s from the pollution. I took my clothes to the dry cleaner over the weekend (Judy typed out a note in Mandarin) and when the clothes came back they were the cleanest I’ve ever had them. I realize it’s a stereotype about Asians and dry cleaning but all stereotypes have some basis of truth. They even wrapped the buttons on my suit in foil so they wouldn’t lose their shine during the cleaning process. I was very impressed. The white spots disappeared too. It’s going to be fun to compare before and after lung X-rays when I come back!

I asked Zoe Lee to take me after work to Carrefour, which has been described to me as the “French Wal-Mart.” We rode the bus together and it’s just a few minutes away from where I live. I actually loved the neighborhood where she lives. Carrefour itself was nice. I loved the three aisles of office supplies I found. It’s amazingly difficult to get things like that. Again, very ironic since you know it was all manufactured here!

On the way out of the store, there was a vendor selling what is known as Tang Huo Luo. It’s basically a candy kabob. She wanted to know if I’d ever had one and I confirmed I had not. She bought me one and it was SO good. It was like chocolate and strawberry covered in a sugary glaze, so it crunches when you eat it. They only sell it in the autumn and winter, so this was probably my last chance to eat one. They sell a number of different combinations. Dangerous stuff!

Sally brought me a USB disk of a bunch of movies she downloaded illegally off the Internet. I thought that was nice of her. Judy said she’s willing to give me some websites where I can watch free content but she’s scared I’ll tell the Americans and it will be shut down.

I arranged another Internet meeting with someone interested in language exchange. His name is Tristan, he’s 28, and works as an engineer for China Mobile. We met at a Metro station I hadn’t been to before. He spoke very well and almost had a slight British accent. He taught himself English mainly by watching American movies. The Chinese who speak really well have watched tons of our movies. It’s a good strategy.

We went to a nearby restaurant that served very good food. Unfortunately, I didn’t “click” with Tristan. He seemed extremely socially awkward and so unlike most of the Chinese people I’ve encountered here. He was nice but I was the person driving the conversation. He drank three bottles of beer in about 20 minutes. I’m not sure what his issues are. I can’t even figure out why he wanted to meet. He seems like he might be very lonely. When I got home he sent me a text message wanting to make sure I made it back safely. I won’t be contacting him again.

You can tell a lot about people based on their pop culture. For example, all the Chinese know who Madonna is but are clueless as to who or “what” Oprah is. The Chinese are extremely proud of Yao Ming, the 7’6 Chinese man who plays basketball for the Houston Rockets. I’d like to get Nick a Houston Rockets baseball cap. (Peter: You have an assignment). I just have to make sure it’s not green. Men who are given green hats here mean that their wife has committed adultery. An American company found this out when they gave a Chinese businessman a Celtics baseball cap in a very large meeting and the room fell silent. Oops!

I was chatting with a man I work with who I just discovered speaks wonderful English. He wanted to know which state I was from and I said New Mexico. He told me that New Mexico’s largest city is Albuquerque. I was stunned. I was further stunned when he knew about the labs there and that New Mexico is close to Colorado. Apparently years ago he became rather obsessed with geography and devoured issues of National Geographic. He knows the names of 40 states and the District of Columbia. I promised to teach him the other 10. Little does he know that most Americans don’t even know that New Mexico is a state!

I was meeting Mo and his friend Zhang for dinner Friday evening. I chose the subway station and got a text message from Mo saying that their bus was stuck in traffic and they’d be a few minutes late. This small Chinese woman in her mid-30’s was walking and stopped when she saw me. “Hello!” she screamed. I didn’t say anything for a second because I was so startled. “Do you speak English?” she asked. I told her that I did and she came closer. “Welcome to Beijing! We will host the 2-oh-oh-8 Olympics in Beijing!” Gee, really? She talked too fast and was really exasperated. Apparently a woman in Las Vegas (pronounced similar to Nick’s “Laughing Gas”) calls her every night at 11 pm and teaches her English. She’s saving up money to go to Las Vegas in five years. She kept repeating the same things again and again. When I would try to ask a question she would just say, “I’m sorry!” and keep going. She told me that she learns English by watching movies. I managed to ask her what some of her favorite movies were. She responded by singing. It took me a minute and then I figured it out. She was singing “My Heart Will Go On” from Titanic. At the end of her performance, “You know?” and then made a gesture with her hand indicating a boat was sinking. I told her I knew the movie quite well.

When Mo and Zhang finally showed up they spoke to her in Mandarin and I could also tell they thought she was odd. She told me she’s a student but has to “work to make money.” I asked where she worked and she kind of embarrassingly held up a KFC bag. I told her that KFC was an American company and she had no clue! I pointed at the photo on the bag and said, “His name is Colonel Sanders.” She repeated it several times. Very bizarre.

I really liked Mo’s friend Zhang. They work together at Mercer, although Mo is getting ready to leave. He said the job doesn’t really match his major. When I asked him how his boss took the news he said, “She’s a Chinese woman and their faces never reveal what their really thinking.”

We walked around for a little in order to find a place to eat. They’d never been to this area so I was guiding them around. It was kind of funny. We finally ended up that Moscow Restaurant that’s in the embassy area. The entire menu was in Russian which was kind of funny. We were all kind of on equal footing. I did have one advantage over them: they had never used a fork and knife. They were both sort of nervous about it which I thought was funny.

Personally, I didn’t detect any differences at all between so-called Russian food and what we’d eat in America. I basically ordered fried chicken patties and they were good. I felt bad though because I think the texture of the food and everything was just different for them. Mo especially seemed uncomfortable. He kept asking me what “order” he should eat the food on his table. I told him it didn’t matter. I said that in America a salad would usually come first and you would eat that first, but when the main dish came it was up to you it was their prerogative. I told them eating in America is a breeze compared to China.

Last week I had taught Mo the term “Dutch treat.” The Mandarin word is pronounced “a-a-8.” Mo had forgotten all of it and just said “Dutch,” I also told him that would work. I taught the term to Zhang. Chinese people always seemed confused by the term “Dutch treat.” I always laugh and say, “I don’t really know what it means either; we just say it!”[1]

We had a wonderful conversation the next few hours. Zhang is also from South China but not as far South as Mo. They helped me to understand some differences between north and south China. I mentioned that it seems as though everyone in Beijing just loves to argue and is always looking for a reason to start a feud. They said South Chinese are different. They are far more introspective and ponder things before they say anything. They said they themselves were often uncomfortable with all the haggling and arguing that goes on in Beijing and further up north.

They also confirmed what WooJung had told me about Asian education. Even at the college level, it’s memorizing facts and statistics. There is no analysis. I asked them if they could disagree with one of their professors in class and they laughed. They said that in China the professor is the “boss” and you couldn’t disagree. They wanted to know if in America students and professors were “friends.” I said that it wouldn’t be considered a friendship but that there can be a special mentorship bond. They have nothing like that in China or apparently the rest of Asia. They said that there teachers don’t even seem to enjoy teaching; it’s just a job. I told them I was at least happy that they could tell the difference. They saw that their professors weren’t doing a good job and not encouraging critical thinking. My mind flashed back to the article about the American CEO’s who don’t want Chinese MBA graduates because of this. I wish these guys could study aboard. It would change their outlook and lives.

I also saw the first cracks today between what we’re all hearing about China and the reality. It had started that day at lunch with Nick. He was complaining about the low salaries Chinese people are given and some of the working conditions in general. I told him that the transition must be hard but that the economy in China was improving. He indicated that it would take a long time. I told him that all the financial experts say that China will be the number one economy in less than 20 years. He seemed very dismissive of this, but he didn’t go further.

It continued that night with Mo and Zhang. Mo told me that people his age are under “immense” pressure. They know that there are very few jobs waiting for them after graduation and they don’t know what they’re going to do. Mo feels as though he must repay his parents for his college education (a year at his college is 5500RMB - $600USD). They said some college graduates will tell companies they’ll work for free as long as they can get their foot in the door. They also said that men in China are increasingly not marrying until their mid-30’s because they need to get stable first. Of course, women who aren’t married by the age of 30 feel as though they’ll never get married. They said that the man will always ask the woman how much money she makes at work. The marriage has to be looked at as a financial partnership. As a result, many young Chinese have decided not to have children because they can’t afford it. They said that being a Chinese man whose about 40 is extremely difficult because you’re trying to support your own family and you have to start providing for your own family. All the more difficult in a country where there is only one child from a family – there’s no one else to lend a hand.

They both lamented that Chinese people are getting increasingly sucked into materialism. The bigger your house and car, the more you’ve accomplished. Mo said he just wants to be happy and have a family and friends. It was a really sweet sentiment. I think I misjudged him a bit from our first meeting. At that meeting, I viewed him as this burgeoning cutthroat capitalist. But he’s not. He just wants to make enough money to be happy.

I found all this really heartbreaking. It felt like a veil had been pulled down and the ugly reality was being revealed. Mo and Zhang are considered some of China’s elite. Remember, very few people get to even attend college. And while they have this advantage, they don’t know if they will survive themselves. There’s something else that’s important to point out. All the high-paying jobs are in the big cities like Beijing and Shanghai. The majority of the country – 900 million – live in the countryside. The situation is very dire out there. The clashes with local authorities are happening in these rural areas on an increasingly regular basis.

While I think the Chinese people have very few “issues” with their government, China’s leaders have to do something to address this issue or they risk losing power. It feels as though something is bubbling under the surface and could give way soon. They are lucky, frankly, that the Chinese people are so patient but they won’t be forever. China basically requires military service for most of its young men. Mo and Zhang told me that this is just another way to keep people working. The soldiers in the army only make 200RMB a month, most of which is sent back to their families. This also explains why I see so many stores with TONS of employees who aren’t working. It’s just another way to keep people working. I guess the government is subsidizing most of these industries.

It was funny because we probably got to the restaurant at 7:30 and we left at 11 pm. It felt like we’d been there an hour. They made me request the bill (mai-dan) from the waiter. We talked so long that the subway had already shut down. We took a taxi together and they dropped me off first. Mo felt bad that they hadn’t taught me much Mandarin at dinner so they were trying to rush some in on the ride. I learned that “dowla” means “stop” (that’s what I kept hearing on the bus!). Mandarin has also adopted an English word: cool. In order to say that a person or thing is cool you say, “Knee hun cool.”

It was a very wonderful evening. Although Mo and Zhang are younger than I am, I feel a special bond with them. I told them that we all “clicked.” They repeated the term several times. I’m looking forward to seeing them again and meeting more of Mo’s friends. They probably don’t even realize how much they are teaching me. My hope is that one day I can return the favor and show all these people America. If not, I will always be nice to foreigners. Even a gentle smile can make one feel more comfortable. As the Good Book says, “When a foreigner resides with you in your land, you must not oppress him. The foreigner who resides with you must be to you like a native citizen among you; so you must love him as yourself, because you were foreigners in the land of Egypt. I am the Lord your God."[2]

I was walking along with Nick and I saw a billboard with the President of China on it. I asked Nick, “What does that billboard with President Hu say?” He was stunned that I knew the name of the Chinese president. I said, “Hu Jintao, right?” I do read the newspapers! It was basically a message from the president congratulating this community on winning an award of some type.

I finally broached a difficult topic with Nick: dog as delicacy. I asked him if he’d ever eaten it. He said that dog is very popular “up north” where he’s from in Harbin. He turned to me, surprised, “They don’t eat dog in America?” I just quietly shook my head no. I told him that it’s very, very important to me that I never eat dog and he needed to make sure that I was never served it. He started laughing. “But Flan, dog is just like a cow or a pig.” I explained that in America we consider dogs and cats to be members of our family and we don’t eat them. He begged me to try it sometime and he said I would “love” dog. I told him no. He just kept laughing. He thought my reaction was so funny! For the record, he doesn’t like cat. I guess he’s more of a dog person.

What makes Mandarin such a difficult language to master is that one word has four different meanings based on the tone used. Even a slight variance in the tone and the meaning has changed completely. I was very sad to learn that I’d been mispronouncing the word for “water.” The words for “water” and “sleep” are very close. I’d been telling waiters that I wanted to “drink sleep.” Maybe they thought I wanted a sleeping pill?

I stayed home Saturday morning which was nice. I’ve been running around a lot and just wanted some time to unwind. I met up with Apple around 4 to go to an art show at the Dashanzi Art District that had been promoted in one of the expat magazines. It was a really nice show. I’ve always loved photography and some of the galleries were selling some beautiful, historic images[3]. There was one exhibition at the Paris Beijing Photo Gallery that was really haunting. A photographer named Wen Fang has taken pictures of some of the Chinese laborers that are doing all the construction in Beijing and posted their images on cement bricks. The exhibition is titled “The Dream of the White Mansion.” There was something about this particular exhibit that was really moving. These laborers have moved to Beijing from the most remote parts of China, leaving their families behind, in order to make some money. They often work in unsafe and unsecure conditions in order to help fuel the construction demand that is here. They often live in little shacks that are on the construction property. They are very easy to spot because their clothes are more ragged and they just look really exhausted.

These men look at me because they are from areas where they really haven’t seen white people. On the subway after the show, Apple and I got on a car and some of these men were on it. They stared at us intently the whole time. I played with my cell phone and when they got off I said, “Did you feel them staring?” She did. Apple’s convinced that one night I’m going to be walking alone and some of these farmers are going to surround me and rob me. I told her that if they do I’ll just start hissing and maybe they’ll run.

Sunday was a busy day. I met up with a 26-year-old woman named Shirley. She lives about 10 minutes from me. Her degree is in English and she also spoke fluent English. She’s from South China’s Sichuan in the Chengdu Province. Sichuan (four rivers) is where the spicy food comes from. She was happy to hear that I liked it!

Shirley works for Phillip Morris and her husband works for a sports marketing company. They’ve known each other since they were children and got married last year. I really liked Shirley’s energy. She was so relaxed and unassuming. Like Karen from last week, her accent made things easier to understand and she gave me some really, really good tips. She actually used to teach Mandarin to children so she has memory aids and other materials.

We chatted in Monet Coffee for about two hours and then I asked her to take me to the Pearl Market because I wanted to buy a voice recorder. Since I’m meeting so many people it only makes sense that I record them properly saying some of these terms for playback at home. We went to the Pearl Market but she didn’t like the quality of what was offered. She drove me to an electronics store and we picked out a nice one.

We had some delicious Peking duck for lunch AND those pumpkin-sophapilla things that Scarlet loves. However, these weren’t hollow – they had some pumpkin on the inside. They felt kind of heavy. Shirley wants me to have dinner with her and her husband next week. I think it will be fun.

I then took a taxi to the Dawanglu Metro station to meet a woman named Helen. I’ve been so overwhelmed and busy that I thought I was meeting her at 3 and it turned out we’d agreed to meet at 2. I was about 20 minutes late.

Helen was so shy and timid. She’d scouted out the area and took me to a coffee shop. She’s 29 and works as a book editor for a Beijing publishing company that specializes in financial and military titles. Apparently she’s getting ready to take some sort of English proficiency test and wanted to practice. She had SO many questions about the English language. When you really think about our vocabulary it’s kind of overwhelming!

We ended up staying in the coffee shop for three hours. We went through two pots of coffee and ordered some dinner. She helped me a bit but I was feeling pretty spent. I actually felt really obligated to help her knowing that she has a big test coming up. She insisted on paying the tab and I allowed her. I think it came to 120RMB and a private English tutor runs about 400RMB. I was a steal.

She confirmed what everyone else has told me about the education system throughout Asia – don’t challenge the teacher, rote memorization, no critical thinking, etc. She also believes that in America the teachers and students are “friends.” I guess that’s what you get from movies like Good Will Hunting and Mona Lisa Smile.

I think Helen is a really sweet person. While her personality is truly that of a book editor, I want to help her. So many people have helped me and it’s the least I can do to help her. If she gets a good score on this test she can go overseas and earn an MBA. It would probably change her life.

I realized today that most of my friends here are in their 20’s. I think as someone who wants to understand where China is headed in the future, they are the best people to show me. I appreciate that they’ve all shown me in different ways their dreams, aspirations, fears, and humanity.









[1] From Wikipedia.com: “The phrase ‘going Dutch’ probably originates from Dutch etiquette. In the Netherlands, it is not unusual to pay separately when dating. English rivalry with the Netherlands especially during the period of the Anglo-Dutch Wars gave rise to several phrases including Dutch that promote certain negative stereotypes. Examples include Dutch courage, Dutch uncle and Dutch wife. The particular stereotype associated with this usage is the idea of Dutch people as ungregarious and selfish.”

[2] Leviticus, 19:33-34

[3] My favorite galleries were: www.parisbeijingphotogallery.com; www.798photogallery.cn; www.popzhao.com.